Spaceman's Load

Spaceman's Load
G. Hanak Aug 2006 (during the 80 hr/wk era)
©2007 by Gary Hanak

It ain't all glamor, it ain't all glory
A spaceman's life is many stories
You ride on jets of thunder, that's true
But there are still things that you have to do

You'll coast high above the earth deep in space
Envy of most of the human race
But sooner or later, hydraulics wins
You've eventually got to pee again

refrain
See a man 'bout a dog, take a leak, gotta run,
It may be mostly water, but it's still number 1
And once you're in space, better not lose control
Or you'll be dressed in your skivvies for your next deep space stroll

Those Cheerios you used to aim for in the bowl
Don't work when the water floats out of the hole
And "missing the mark" don't mean wiping the seat
It's embarassing chasing down pee that you leak

So while you're still where up and down isn't moot
You'd best get pretty good at the ole' "Point and shoot"
'Cause a shower of gold don't mean inspired dreams
Up here it means you must have busted a seam.

refrain
Take a whiz, hit the head, need a break, gotta run
It may be mostly water, but it's still number 1
And once you're in space, better not lose control
Or it's your birthday suit for your next deep space stroll

…instrumental…

The 'Gross Meter' no longer sees new high scores
Things just aren't the same now with ladies on board
The Captain gets pissed when you leave up the seat
Ain't no way she's cleaning up after you if you leak

So we're careful in aiming, make sure seals are tight
(OK - some chores we like more than others, all right?)
But you'd best bear in mind this was just about pee
"Number 2" loose in space gets promoted to "3"

refrain
See a man 'bout a dog, take a leak, gotta run,
It may be mostly water, but it's still number 1
And once you're in space, better not lose control
Or you'll be just wearin' skivvies for your next deep space stroll

"Hey fellas—I think I feel a draft…"